Father Thomas Welbers' Homily

Before I begin I'd like to call your attention to my Pastor's Desk colulmn in today's Sunday bulletin which has a description of the lengthy, often confusing, and usually boring list of names that make up the genealogy of Jesus in St. Matthew's Gospel, which is the first part of the Gospel reading for Christmas Vigil. These men (and four women) are truly our ancestors in faith, and it's good for us to get to know them.

Often Jesus, Mary, and Joseph are pictured as a "model" family in terms that impossible for any real family to identify with — the virginal relationship of husband and wife, a harmony unmarred by normal disagreements and tensions, and a child-God who never protested being washed behind the ears. The down-to-earth picture in this Gospel speaks directly to situations that are faced in some way by the majority of families in our society today: poverty, displacement, alienation, and fear. Joseph, Mary, and Jesus are a model family because they experienced the same struggles we encounter.

After returning to Nazareth, what was the family life of Jesus like? For sure, it was not the way it is usually pictured in statues, paintings, or holy cards. Gospel references to the “brothers and sisters” of Jesus give us a clue. These were either children of Joseph by a previous marriage or were other relatives, cousins or other who may have lived in the same household. Perhaps these brothers and sisters were a mixture of both.

It’s not unlikely that Joseph could have been married before, fathered children, and his wife had died, possibly in childbirth as was not uncommon in those days. In analyzing the words used to describe family relationships in Greek and Aramaic, many scholars also conclude that the word used in the Gospels for “brother,” in Greek, “adelphoi,” can just as well refer to other relatives or even members of a close-knit community. The one thing that’s just about certain is that Jesus was not raised in a tiny quiet three-person household. The childhood of Jesus was a lot more normal, involving intensive living together of a good number of extended family members, than most of the images on holy cards would suggest. It was dynamic, vibrant, and noisy, with undoubtedly lots of conflicts as well as intense loyalty and support -- all of which are characteristic of both ancient and modern families of Mediterranean cultures. And immensely loving, of course. If you saw the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” you caught a glimpse of that kind of family living.

Where the Holy Family then serves as a model for us today, is not in their difference, but in their similarity to most family situations that we face. When husband and wife commit themselves to each other, to be faithful in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, until death,” they are establishing a community of life in which new life is welcome. What any real commitment requires is a willingness to lay aside one’s own priorities and agendas, and put the good of others before one’s own. This can be done only if God is truly at the center.

And so our question this week is, can we do that? In our family life, in our relationships with others, in our community, can we let go of our own agendas, and let God be the Lord of our lives?

© 2004 Thomas Welbers